Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My life is pants optional.
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