I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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