That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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