if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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