Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
