marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm so fucking centered right now
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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