Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
