If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
