So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
