he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
