I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
