So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
