I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
