Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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