Banned from zoo.
Again?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
