I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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