Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
