is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
