HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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