So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
