The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
