u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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