no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Enjoy the penises
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
