So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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