Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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