That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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