Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
