Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
