I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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