so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
