I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
