im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
sex in a hospital.. check
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
