Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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