he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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