the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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