"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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