He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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