well I can't set my house on fire every night
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
