I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
