It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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