I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
