Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
its not stalking. its research.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
