i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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