where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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