But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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