Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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