ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
