I want to walk on stilts...naked
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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