I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
