the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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