Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
