i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize