allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
