well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
