I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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