letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
