Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize