what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
