The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
