marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
