She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
