So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
