hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
