is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
