just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
