I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
